


Not Alone

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Smut, Selfcest, Stevencest - Freeform, steven’s gem half - Freeform, steven’s human half
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24104917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Recently, Steven has been feeling lonely. When he realized that his gem half was always there with him, he finds some comfort in this.Even if his gem is probably as traumatized as he is, Steven wants to help them have a better relationship with each other. Even if their first time seeing each other was under awful circumstances, Steven will try his hardest to help them gain much better memories of each other.(Happens post Growing Pains)
Relationships: Pink Steven Universe/Steven Universe
Kudos: 124





	Not Alone

Something about wandering around Beach City at night was different. Steven had grown to love how it got during the night hours. No longer were the days where he slept early and woke up early. Lately, he had been having problems sleeping. Nightmares weren’t too uncommon nowadays for him. As a matter of fact, they had become a nightly thing.

He tensed at the thought, although he forced himself to calm down before he began to glow again. Maybe he really did need to see a therapist, as Dr. Maheswaran had suggested. The hybrid shivered, remembering the look on her and Connie’s face when he ended up swelling in the hospital. 

_ Connie. _

As he sat down on the beach, all he could think about was Connie. About how she had been making new friends lately. Friends who she talked about quite often. Then, with a sinking feeling, he realized that she probably talked much more to them than she spoke to him nowadays. It only made sense. She went to school and had so many after school programs as well, while he didn’t even live in the same city as her.

All his attempts to catch up with his friends and enter the future ended up failing. That night at the skatepark, he was sure that she could be his future. That  _ Stevonnie  _ could be  _ their _ future. While she didn’t just flat out reject him, she still was visibly uncomfortable by his proposal. 

Maybe Ruby and Sapphire were wrong when it came to relationships. His relationship with Connie wasn’t like their relationship at all. Of course they both believe that they’re each other’s futures, they’re fused more often than not. They loved each other, more than anything.

Steven finally snapped back into reality and realized that he was glowing. At least he didn’t become a giant this time around, but being a walking glow stick wasn’t much better. He stood up and began to make his way back to the beach house.

Part of him couldn’t help but worry that no one would ever love him. He was so busy saving the universe during his childhood that socializing was out of question most of the time. Now that everyone was safe, he  _ could  _ socialize more, but decided against it most of the time. Lately, his powers had been out of control. What if he ended up hurting someone?

He pushed the door open and stepped into his house, making sure to shut it and lock it before going upstairs. His bedroom was one of the only places where he felt like he could be himself lately. Maybe that was because he knew for certain that he wouldn’t hurt anyone here. He was the only one here, so who was there to hurt when he was alone?

His eyes came across a mirror and he stared at his reflection. Unsurprisingly, he was still glowing a neon pink hue. Even through the odd light, anyone could tell just how exhausted the hybrid was. Dark circles were under his eyes and he felt just as worn out as he looked. Dr. Maheswaran mentioned that his powers acting up were likely a result of his post traumatic stress disorder. Even the smallest of problems were made into much bigger issues in his mind. 

Pink continued to radiate off of his skin. Steven glanced up and met his reflection’s eyes, seeing that pink had replaced their usual dark shade. Just then did a new thought dawn upon him. Technically, he was  _ never  _ alone. He glanced down at his gem, watching as it continued to shine. Sure, he couldn’t hurt others in here, but what if he had hurt his other half?

Then, he remembered that his other half loved him. He remembered that he loved him back and together they loved being Steven. Being forced to unfuse by White hadn’t been a pleasurable experience, but he remembered it so vividly. He remembered meeting eyes with someone who was so close to him, even if they hadn’t technically met before. The pure love and adoration in the gem’s eyes as they danced filled Steven’s entire being with warmth. Although he wouldn’t say it openly, he kind of  _ missed _ his gem.

Admittedly, the hybrid hesitated to lay down on his bed. He brought a hand to his stomach and grabbed at the gem on his navel. Surely, it wouldn’t be the worst thing that he had ever gone through. This time, it wasn’t White forcing them to unfuse. It was his, the human half’s, decision to do so.

Closing his eyes tightly, he began to tug at his gem. Pain shot through his body and bile climbed up his throat. He ignored both of these things, instead tugging again and nearly crying out in pain when he pulled it a fourth time. Darkness began to surround his vision, but he wouldn’t give up. With a final pull, he felt his gem slip out of his body.

Silence filled the room for a few moments. After some time, he felt a hand cup his cheek. Hesitantly, he opened an eye, relaxing when he saw his gem half staring down at him. He still had his signature wide-eyed stare that he had the day when they had unfused for the first time.

Steven opened his mouth to say something, but no noise came out. Instead, he coughed, cringing at the sight of blood. This clearly concerned the other, who leaned down closer to him and pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, only hoping that would help stop any internal bleeding. The sensation of being healed made the human relax. However, the sight of the gem being visibly concerned worried him.

Once again, Steven tried to speak, but the gem was the first to glance around the room again before speaking. “Why?” Clearly, he had been expecting White Diamond to be there smirking at them just like the first time.

It took the human a while to find a good way of wording things. However, he spoke weakly once he finally decided on it. “I missed you, and it doesn’t help that I feel so alone,” he admitted, averting his eyes from the other’s stare, “But I’m never alone, because you’re here, but I just feel so  _ lonely _ still. The first time we met was a mess but I don’t want you to feel lonely either. We’re going through this together.”

Silence filled the room once again. His gem lay down next to him on the bed and kept a hand on the other’s shoulder, but he didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity. Steven got more and more nervous by the second, although he flustered when the other made eye contact with him again. “That’s true,” He conceded. His tone was so empty, yet so lifeless at the same time. Then, he shook his head slowly. “It’s risky, though. You’re dying, hurting yourself. Not worth it.”

The human stilled when the other pressed himself closer to him. A bright light began to surround them, and Steven knew exactly what was happening. He pushed the other away gently and, although he coughed rather violently after doing so, he was determined. “It is worth it. Please, it doesn’t hurt so bad when I’m close to you… the first time we met was terrible, and I don’t want our only memory of each other to be linked to… what  _ she  _ did.” 

A gentle kiss was placed on Steven’s cheek. His gem let his lips linger so he could watch his magic do it’s work. Hopefully that stopped his cough. He leaned back again before focusing on the conversation he was having with his other half. The human wasn’t dying so quickly with him around and he was leaning into his touch in order to feel energy surge through him. Deciding against replying directly to him, his answer was short. “You’re tired.”

“I’m not!” The human said with a huff, only to yawn right afterwards. A small sigh escaped his lips and he nodded slowly. “For now, please don’t just fuse with me. We can talk about this in the morning, and-”

The gem pushed him under the covers and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.”Rest.” Steven sighed, snuggling closer to the gem’s side. The pink being had started to trace patterns into Steven’s shirt, further lulling the human into a deep sleep. 

Eventually, Steven drifted off. His gem, not yet nicknamed, stayed with him for a while, up until he began to die. He was quick to fuse back with the other, healing all of his organs in the process. They could speak again another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m back at it again with another story!  
> if anyone has a stevencest discord server or anything of the sort that is safe for minors to join (nsfw free or nsfw is blocked off) then please tell me, i want to make more friends who ship stevencest as well


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